Yesterday was really hard.  Step 1 was to reject the diet mentality… I cleaned out my cupboards, drawers and cabinets of recipe books, magazines, of anything promoting weight loss.  This included apps used for counting calories/containers/carbs etc and my 21 Day Fix containers, aka my security blanket.  Oh and my scale and measuring tape.   I felt overwhelmed.  My heart was racing, and literally, I wanted to throw up.

It was a scary feeling realizing how attached to the concept of dieting I am, yet I knew I have been worshiping the wrong God. Food, fitness… It was all wrong.  And I’ve never NOT been on some sort of plan probably since my midteens.

So I took it all downstairs and stuck it all in a box (I couldn’t bring myself to throw it all away or donate it) and in my head I called it “the graveyard”.  I said goodbye to the ghosts of dieting past and tried to calm down.

I deleted Pinterest boards dedicated to diet and weight loss.

I cried.  I wondered how I got this way. But I already knew.

I feel naked. Like dieting has been a protection around me and now I’m totally vulnerable.

I feel like a weight has been lifted but like I also feel like I don’t know what to do.  I’ve always been the gal who’s current on health/fitness trends, up to date on the latest diet and the girl who has tried every damn diet under the sun.  The girl who has lost 40 pounds using a diet program but has been unable to progress any further on any program…. It’s been my own undoing as I’ve gotten into a yoyo cycle again.  And now I’m trying to attempt years of undoing this and I’m second guessing if this is possible.  It’s exhausting.

Cheers to a new day.

Intuitive Eating Resources:

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